Musings on Time and Art

As the moon waxes and wanes, I find

I live halfway all of the time

Browsing online for 2 hours

Hating how fast it passes me by



I want to run like Black Beauty

In salt spray under turquoise sky

Forgetting that I have to die






















Not sure how to feel about the eternal now

Since the past no longer exists

So…even this bliss?















And if I set my heart on this project

What if a car crash ruins it?

All of this future in my heart

Working itself out

Over mountains and valleys of time and

After my dark night of the soul,

Will you cheer at my homecoming?










Or will it fade like brown and curled up

Maple leaves in the wind

I want to know

It’s safe

To put my whole heart into this place



I want to fall in her embrace:

The present moment

And how she calls to me

Saying,

“Leave the phone on your bedside table

Outside we will go, you and I,

Learning and relearning how to engage with mother earth










Move your body

Dance like you are a child again

Who hasn’t yet felt the sand filled mouth

Of a suckling, smothered puppy- the runt

And felt, for the first time,

What death meant











Dance like you,

And that puppy,

Are loved ethereally... eternally... foreverly...

Return

And take a chance at believing

That your expression will fly






And it’s okay to dream and chase that thing

Pulling at your heart strings

You can grieve death

Cry and cry and cry

Then face life again

And all the beauty

Of trust falling

Into the winds

Of time






Well Hey!!

I hope this little art letter finds you well. I did breathwork last night after basking under the light of the full snow moon. (I say basking, but I mean...shivering...) Last night I faced overwhelming surges of energy throughout my body that made my breathing shallow and stifled. I decided to do a breathing meditation as well as chakra work.


What I found as I sank deeply into my breath and body was a beautiful and rich prayer where it seemed the Divine sent me beautiful images and memories from the movie Black Beauty. I don't remember the movie, but I remember the imagery and how my heart felt watching it. energy flowed deeply into my heart and freely moved with such a pure clarity.


The heart chakra may be where I struggle most, and sensing this energy and allowing my breath to be moved deeper into peace and flow by the images came as a surprise and a relief. This morning, I danced to Wild Horses sung by Susan Boyle. I really do find myself constantly grieving the fact that I will die, despite my belief in our own eternality. Still, all the deaths I experience like thousands of falling maple leaves season in and season out crack through my soul every day. It's hard to flow through some of these things, especially since for so long, I wanted to and expected to die and not see my old age.


I discovered this lovely print today. I'm OBSESSED with Japanese art as well as their architecture and much of their lifestyle.

Gift of the Estate of Mrs. Robert H. Patterson1857


This is the description provided by the Smithsonian online digital archive website:


"This scene is divided in half. The upper half is tranquil and still. Showing Edo Bay with cargo ships anchored for the night, the full moon lights up the night sky as a flock of birds fly by. Within the foreground appears uneaten sashimi remains on the red plate from the lavish dinner. The sake bottle is floating, and the napkins lay strewn about with a half-opened fan resting on the green tatami mat. Guests have left the room as two silhouettes remain. On the right side, a geisha has put down a shamisen (musical instrument). The left side shows the shadow of a prostitute taking off her kimono. From right to left, the direction in which Japanese is read, Hiroshige visually tells us a story. The meal and music have ended (past), admiring the moon (present) as the prostitutes prepare for the immediate future."


I LOVE how certain art styles depict the complexity of the past, present, and future. This artwork symbolically deals with these themes in such a beautiful way. I feel as though I was a part of this dynamic scene...as though, by simply expressing what we all feel, the experience continues on and on and on.


These are our body, earth, art stories.


Movement of the body gives us the ability to move through these experiences, heal, and bring our own stories to expression.


Images:

  1. Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of Laura Dreyfus Barney and Natalie Clifford Barney in memory of their mother, Alice Pike Barney

  2. Smithsonian American Art Museum, Museum purchase

  3. Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of the Republic of France

  4. Smithsonian American Art Museum, Museum purchase made possible by Emily Tuckerman

  5. Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of the artist

  6. Harry T. Peters "America on Stone" Lithography Collection

  7. Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of Laura Dreyfus Barney and Natalie Clifford Barney in memory of their mother, Alice Pike Barney

  8. Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of Hudson D. Walker

  9. Francis Augustus Lathrop, American, 1849 - 1909

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The smell of Grandma's house. Freshly cut wood. Coffee grounds both new and old. Folded fabric neatly arranged in closets or cut in pieces on sewing tables. Familiar. Warm. Methodical... like the drip