Musings on Time and Art
As the moon waxes and wanes, I find
I live halfway all of the time
Browsing online for 2 hours
Hating how fast it passes me by
I want to run like Black Beauty
In salt spray under turquoise sky
Forgetting that I have to die
Not sure how to feel about the eternal now
Since the past no longer exists
So…even this bliss?
And if I set my heart on this project
What if a car crash ruins it?
All of this future in my heart
Working itself out
Over mountains and valleys of time and
After my dark night of the soul,
Will you cheer at my homecoming?
Or will it fade like brown and curled up
Maple leaves in the wind
I want to know
It’s safe
To put my whole heart into this place
I want to fall in her embrace:
The present moment
And how she calls to me
Saying,
“Leave the phone on your bedside table
Outside we will go, you and I,
Learning and relearning how to engage with mother earth
Move your body
Dance like you are a child again
Who hasn’t yet felt the sand filled mouth
Of a suckling, smothered puppy- the runt
And felt, for the first time,
What death meant
Dance like you,
And that puppy,
Are loved ethereally... eternally... foreverly...
Return
And take a chance at believing
That your expression will fly
And it’s okay to dream and chase that thing
Pulling at your heart strings
You can grieve death
Cry and cry and cry
Then face life again
And all the beauty
Of trust falling
Into the winds
Of time
Well Hey!!
I hope this little art letter finds you well. I did breathwork last night after basking under the light of the full snow moon. (I say basking, but I mean...shivering...) Last night I faced overwhelming surges of energy throughout my body that made my breathing shallow and stifled. I decided to do a breathing meditation as well as chakra work.
What I found as I sank deeply into my breath and body was a beautiful and rich prayer where it seemed the Divine sent me beautiful images and memories from the movie Black Beauty. I don't remember the movie, but I remember the imagery and how my heart felt watching it. energy flowed deeply into my heart and freely moved with such a pure clarity.
The heart chakra may be where I struggle most, and sensing this energy and allowing my breath to be moved deeper into peace and flow by the images came as a surprise and a relief. This morning, I danced to Wild Horses sung by Susan Boyle. I really do find myself constantly grieving the fact that I will die, despite my belief in our own eternality. Still, all the deaths I experience like thousands of falling maple leaves season in and season out crack through my soul every day. It's hard to flow through some of these things, especially since for so long, I wanted to and expected to die and not see my old age.
I discovered this lovely print today. I'm OBSESSED with Japanese art as well as their architecture and much of their lifestyle.
Gift of the Estate of Mrs. Robert H. Patterson1857
This is the description provided by the Smithsonian online digital archive website:
"This scene is divided in half. The upper half is tranquil and still. Showing Edo Bay with cargo ships anchored for the night, the full moon lights up the night sky as a flock of birds fly by. Within the foreground appears uneaten sashimi remains on the red plate from the lavish dinner. The sake bottle is floating, and the napkins lay strewn about with a half-opened fan resting on the green tatami mat. Guests have left the room as two silhouettes remain. On the right side, a geisha has put down a shamisen (musical instrument). The left side shows the shadow of a prostitute taking off her kimono. From right to left, the direction in which Japanese is read, Hiroshige visually tells us a story. The meal and music have ended (past), admiring the moon (present) as the prostitutes prepare for the immediate future."
I LOVE how certain art styles depict the complexity of the past, present, and future. This artwork symbolically deals with these themes in such a beautiful way. I feel as though I was a part of this dynamic scene...as though, by simply expressing what we all feel, the experience continues on and on and on.
These are our body, earth, art stories.
Movement of the body gives us the ability to move through these experiences, heal, and bring our own stories to expression.
Images:
Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of Laura Dreyfus Barney and Natalie Clifford Barney in memory of their mother, Alice Pike Barney
Smithsonian American Art Museum, Museum purchase
Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of the Republic of France
Smithsonian American Art Museum, Museum purchase made possible by Emily Tuckerman
Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of the artist
Harry T. Peters "America on Stone" Lithography Collection
Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of Laura Dreyfus Barney and Natalie Clifford Barney in memory of their mother, Alice Pike Barney
Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of Hudson D. Walker
Francis Augustus Lathrop, American, 1849 - 1909